Traditions of our Ancestors (I wrote this a while ago and am just finding time to post it).

January tends to be somewhat of a let down and can be a bit depressing. All the excitement is over and it’s just plain cold. Dark and dreary is a perfect description. Well one day I was talking to my dear grandmother and she mentioned that we needed to do something to spice January up, so I said I would make up a holiday that paid homage to our ancestors. Turns out, I didn’t have to make up a holiday because there is one that already exists. Some of you probably already celebrate this holiday that I simply stumbled upon it is called Epiphany day or Three Kings day. Feel free to take this moment to Wikipedia this January holiday because I’m only going to share my version. After much research and picking and choosing of the aspects I liked, we have a holiday (outside of MLK Day) to celebrate in January. This is a holiday that both Ben’s and my ancestors most likely celebrated.

Let me explain our adaptation of our new tradition. On the 6th of every January we will have a special German cake with a bean hidden inside. Whoever gets the bean will be king or queen for a day. This year I got the bean, which was especially lucky because our bathroom flooded, and I had to do very little to help clean up since Ben wanted to make sure I enjoyed my queen day. During the evening we drank homemade apple cider, ate the German bread and read the story of the wise men in Mathew 2. We also wrote down our own gift to Christ for the year to symbolize the gifts the wise men brought to baby Jesus. We put our pieces of paper in a special box to keep until next year when we plan on reading and evaluating our progress. We hope to get gold, frankinsence, and myrrh to add to our box and further help with the symbolism.

We really enjoyed participating in something that our ancestors probably participated in. It was another way for us to carry the Christmas spirit into the new year, plus I now have a perfectly legitimate reason for keeping my Christmas tree up for an extra 6 days.

If you want more information on how different cultures celebrated/ celebrate Epiphany Day, please email me or leave a comment asking for more info. Ben and I chose certain aspects of the holiday that best represented our own ancestors and adapted it to fit our lives, but we left out some traditions that might appeal to others. 

Advent Calendar: Deceased Relatives

I am writing this post in snowy Minnesota right now. My husband and I are visiting his family to celebrate a white Christmas, which is certainly something we wouldn't get in Texas or with my family in Arizona. I will certainly write more on my trip later, but I need to catch up on my Advent Calendar stuff.

It was rather ironic that the post for the 22nd was on deceased relatives when that happens to be my grandmother's birthday. I called to interview her about her relatives on the 21st because I didn't want her to start her birthday on a somewhat melancholy note.

It turns out that my grandmother has two people whose deaths affected the holiday season. The first and most notable for my grandmother was her Aunt Eliza. My grandmother lived with her aunt after her mother passed away when she was four months old. This aunt raised her until she was 12 years old and most of my grandmother's previous stories reference her. Although Aunt Eliza died in the summer, her death impacted that year's Christmas. My grandmother went to live with her aunt Carrie in Vicksburg, Mississippi. Aunt Carrie understood how tough it must have been for my grandmother and her siblings to leave their "mother" so she tried to compensate during Christmas time. Aunt Carrie asked for plenty of input from the kids about their previous Christmas traditions. She made all of the same food and bought plenty of gifts. The kids had so many presents and different kinds of food that it turned out to be a wonderful Christmas. They really enjoyed themselves that year. Aunt Carrie successfully carried out a Christmas that allowed all of the children to enjoy every last moment and not experience the sadness that seemed pending.

When my grandmother was all grown up and married with kids her father passed away on New Year's Eve. She knew he was sick, but she had no idea that he was terminally ill. He died from cancer at age 59. My grandmother never really got the chance to live with her father and get to know him except for a few months when she was in her late teens. After her mother died her father remarried a woman who did not want his children around, so they were shipped off to family who would take them in. When he died my grandmother received a phone call from her sister notifying her of his death. They didn't really do too much to remember him except talk on the phone together. She didn't cry and she didn't dwell on things that she could not change. She accepted his unexpected death and continued on her with her life.

As I tried to extract the details of these deaths from grandmother's memory I found out about a key characteristic within my grandmother that allowed her to survive tough times. Optimism. Optimism keeps my grandmother from getting bogged down by events. She doesn't dwell or lament that which she cannot change. I suppose her ability to live in the present and her unfaltering optimism in all that she does helps her get through some of the tough things that she has endured. I never even realized the difficulties that she encountered throughout her life. She doesn't tell her stories as if things may have been difficult or trying. She always looks back with fondness and optimism. When I try to press her about feelings or difficulties she brushes me off and says "Natasha, you can't dwell on that sort of stuff, you acknowledge it and continue on, but you don't dwell."

Advent Calendar: School Celebrations in Rural Mississippi and Germany

I have decided to focus mostly on my dad’s side of the family for these posts since my maternal grandmother is already covering that side of the family.

I really enjoyed listening to my grandma Katie tell me how her town celebrated Christmas at school. It felt particularly significant once I made the connection that her memories speak of a time before integration.

She grew up in a rural area of Mississippi during the thirties and forties. School celebrations turned into town celebrations inviting everyone to participate. Each family would contribute a few items to the after school party to make for a wonderful gathering. My grandmother’s family liked to bring pecan pies and cookies. Her brothers would climb up the pecan trees and shake the branches until pecans rained down upon the girls below. The girls would then pick up all the pecans and carry them home. At night they would stay up and shell the pecans, so their mother could bake with them during the day. My grandmother's mom (aunt) would chop all the nuts and turn them into delicious treats. They even grew their own peanuts, which they would make peanut brittle with and take to the party.

At the party everyone enjoyed the many delicious Christmas delicacies but the real fun was in the socializing. They participated in several different types of competitive games led by the teacher. They played games like potato sack race, family
board games, and this game where they would have to push an egg from one point to another with their noses. Apparently, games like the egg game were mostly for the boys because the girls were decked out in beautiful dresses. These dresses were handmade and consisted of very heavy fabric. In the absence of polyester, they would use a special kind of brocade silk and cotton to make beautiful winter dresses to adorn the girls with for this special occasion.

As for me, my earliest memories of school holiday celebrations are from my time living in Germany. We would celebrate Sankt Nikolaus day in early December. We would listen to the story of Sankt Nikolaus and leave our shoes lined up in the school hallway. Later when we went to get our shoes Sankt Nikolaus would have filled our shoes with candy and trinkets.

As I got older school holidays were getting phased out, so I don’t have too many memories of school holiday celebrations. I do remember that some of the schools I went to had a special store that the kids could go into and buy presents for family members. The gifts weren’t anything extravagant and were actually on the cheap side, but it made us feel happy to pick out gifts all by ourselves.

Advent Calendar Holiday Happenings

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I have decided to do this advent calendar thingy that my grandma told me about. Whatever gets me blogging, right? Basically, I am supposed to blog about a specific topic everyday until Christmas. I'm already starting 15 days late, so I'm already doing too well with this blogging commitment.

We have two birthdays that fall particularly close to major holidays in my family. Most of the time these birthdays don't receive the full celebration that others do, but in the last few years greater effort has been made to not let these birthdays get lost in the holiday shuffle.

My paternal grandmother celebrates both her anniversary and birthday in December. I think her birthday probably gets overshadowed most since it is on the 22nd of December. Her birthday usually gets swallowed by Christmas. Last year I spent my first year in Arizona since high school. My husband and I took that opportunity to visit my grandparents and see my grandmother on her birthday. My grandmother's excitement really showed throughout the day. I have to say my grandma looks so young and beautiful for her age and really radiates when she is in a happy smiling mood. We gave her a fun little game that we all played together a few times, which is sort of our thing. I am really glad that we took that opportunity to celebrate her birthday last year because I'm not there to celebrate it now. Being there for her birthday made me realize how time is flying by faster than I can even count. My grandmother is in her mid 70's, but in my mind she was always in her late 60's. Although I keep getting older, for some reason, I stopped my grandparents from aging about 5 years ago. I guess when I went off to college I sort of stopped the clock on everything that was happening back home.

My birthday happens to be the other holiday birthday. It usually falls around or on Thanksgiving. That has always been a really tough thing for me to deal with. Having my birthday on a holiday meant that I didn't get taken out to eat for a special birthday dinner or my own family gathering. We always had to celebrate my birthday on Thanksgiving, which meant that most people forgot about my birthday. It wasn't until my first year of marriage that we truly honored my birthday on a day other than Thanksgiving. I have to say, it is much nicer celebrating Thanksgiving day as Thanksgiving day, instead of trying to cram in birthday celebrations as well. Plus, turkey tastes much better without the existential crisis that accompanies age :)

Anyone else have holiday birthdays? How do you celebrate? I know some people don't put up the Christmas tree until after all the birthdays are out of the way. Other people celebrate the half birthday.

The Army Life for Me

At the beginning of November Ben left for the Army. I know, it is a shocker. Before he left we had a lot of fun celebrating Halloween and such. We went to a farm and got to go through some huge corn maze. The night before Halloween we went to our church's Trunk or Treat. Ben and I dressed up as Chicago Bears Super Fans. Actually, he was a Super Fan; I was just a fan.




At the beginning of November Ben finally left for Basic Training. I say finally because it took three different tries before his recruiters submitted all of his paperwork completely. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. But after saying goodbye several days in a row and getting up at four in the morning, I was ready for the emotional roller coaster to be over. Despite being numb with exhaustion when he finally left, it didn't take long for the feeling to seep back into me as I realized that he was really gone.

Basic Training was tough. Ben always said that the hardest part was being away from me. Obviously, with the lack of push ups and training I had to do, the separation was the worst part for me too. I did not like not being allowed to talk to him. Writing letters turned out to be rather cathartic but it was hard to feel the connection between us. I eventually wrote him everyday, but by the time I got a letter from him he was responding to something that I had written over a week before. I suppose my impatience with the postal system only goes to show that I really am a product of the times. Despite my protests I have really been spoiled by the many recent technological advances.

Luckily, Ben got a two week break for Exodus and came home for a visit around Christmas. It was a little weird seeing him at first. I was completely prepared for my husband to be unbearably ugly with his high and tight haircut, but, fortunately, my love goggles kicked in and I didn't notice (love goggles are similar to beer goggles but are activated with love instead of alcohol). I did however notice his weight loss. My dear husband (DH) is plenty skinny all on his own, but Basic sucked 10 pounds from him. Many people thought he looked like an old sickly man in our Christmas picture (at bottom of post). Poor DH, I still think you look good.




We had fun celebrating Christmas together and enjoying time together in our fully decorated and festive apartment. It was nice to relax with him the entire time. I had quit my job a little before DH came home, so I ended up only having to work two days while he was here. It was so amazing to spend so much time together. I realized during those days that I was truly happy. Unfortunately, I did not maintain that happiness for very long.